Daily Learnings: Mon, Sep 15, 2025
You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You can find yourself by coming into the present. — Eckhart Tolle
Good Inside: Not Listening
Today I read through chapter 12 of Good Inside, which covers topics and tools to address “not listening”, which I’ve often noticed in my own kids. This chapter was an excellent reframing of what it really means when kids “don’t listen” and how to build connection to assist with this behavior.
How would it feel if you were in their shoes?
One of the most impactful lessons I took from this chapter was the need I have for more empathy for my kids when I ask them to do something they don’t want to do. Dr Becky provided some thought-provoking questions throughout the chapter to help me consider what my kids might be feeling when I ask them to stop doing something they want to do in order to do something they don’t want to do.
Let’s say you were having lunch with a friend and another friend came by and said, “Hey, can you call off your lunch and come help me clean my toilet?” I’m pretty sure you’d both say no and continue on with your meal.
And, when talking about infusing trust and agency into your requests:
Imagine how you’d feel if your boss wanted you to redo a report and then stood over you at your desk versus walking away with a message of trust and encouragement.
Honestly, I need to think a lot more about how I would feel if I were in my kids’ shoes.
What do we mean by “not listening”?
- When we say, “My kids aren’t listening” what we likely mean is actually, “My kids aren’t cooperating with my requests.”
- Likely our kids will listen as soon as we ask them to do something fun